Keeping Cremation Ashes - A Practical Guide

Keeping ashes outside the classic cemetery burial is a modern memorial practice that operates in a grey area of German law (see Friedhofszwang - Mandatory Cemetery Burial (Germany)) - yet one that many funeral directors, jewellery workshops and families have long since established in practice. This guide covers the most important practical questions.

Typical reasons for keeping ashes

Several mourning practices require small quantities of ash to be kept:

Memorial jewellery. Ash pendants (see Ash Pendant), ash diamonds (see Memorial Diamond), glass memorial pieces (see Memorial Glass (Ashes in Glass)).

Memorial tattoo. Ash in the tattoo pigment (see Memorial Tattoo).

Several family pieces. Siblings, children, grandchildren - everyone would like a memorial piece of their own. A single quantity of ash typically yields 5–20 pieces of jewellery.

Dispersed families. The ash is divided among several family members (in different cities or countries) - each receives their own form of remembrance.

Later memorial projects. A family keeps a small reserve of ash for later projects (for instance a memorial diamond planned only after several years of working through grief).

Scattering at a favourite place. A symbolic scattering at the deceased person's favourite place (in Germany permitted only at state-approved burial sites; freely possible in Switzerland, the Netherlands and the USA).

Step 1 - Planning the quantity

Before requesting the release of ashes from the funeral director, the quantity required should be clear:

Form of remembrance	Typical quantity per piece
Ash pendant	0.1–0.3 g
Ash diamond (0.3–0.5 ct)	100–250 g
Ash diamond (1.0 ct)	300–500 g
Memorial tattoo	0.5–1.5 g
Glass memorial bead	0.5–1.5 g
Scattering at a favourite place	50–500 g
Family set (5 pendants)	1–2 g
Reserve for later	5–20 g

Total budget: even with several parallel memorial projects, 5–20 g is typically enough for jewellery and tattoo applications, and 200–500 g for a memorial diamond. The total quantity of ash from a typical adult cremation (2–3 kg) is barely reduced by reservations of this size.

Step 2 - The conversation with the funeral director

The key practical step. Raise these points specifically:

1. Which form of remembrance are you planning? (jewellery, tattoo, diamond, several)
2. How much ash is needed? (see the quantity table)
3. When and how would you like to receive the ash? (immediately after cremation, later, direct dispatch to the workshop)
4. In what form should the ash be handed over? (glass capsule, shipping container, direct dispatch to the jewellery workshop)

Most established funeral directors have experience with such requests. Some offer standard packages (a "memorial portion" handed over in a small glass capsule); others work directly with specialist jewellery workshops.

Important: have this conversation before the cremation, not after. Once the ashes have been buried in the regular way, obtaining a portion is practically impossible.

Step 3 - Storage containers

Several containers are suitable for long-term storage:

Screw-top glass bottle. The standard for dispatch to a jewellery workshop and for small quantities. Typically costs 2–8 EUR from pharmacy suppliers or laboratory retailers.

Stainless steel mini urn. A high-quality form of storage for larger quantities (10–500 g). Typically costs 30–150 EUR; well sealed and corrosion-resistant.

Jewellery ash capsule. The ash is integrated directly into the piece of jewellery (see Ash Pendant) - no separate storage required.

Wooden or ceramic urn. Suitable for aesthetic display in a living or memorial space; less so for long-term preservation because of susceptibility to moisture and breakage.

Shipping container for workshop orders. When sending ash to a jewellery workshop or diamond producer, it is typically shipped in a sealed glass container with documented contents. The workshop often supplies a suitable container.

Not suitable: plastic bags (embrittlement, static charge); open dishes (moisture, dust); light cardboard boxes (mechanically fragile).

Step 4 - Storage conditions

Ash is chemically and biologically completely inert, but a few storage conditions make sense:

• Dry - moisture can cause clumping
• Frost-free - because of the risk of condensation when temperatures change
• Protected from light - largely cosmetic (the ash itself is UV-stable)
• Child-safe - an emotionally sensitive substance; store out of reach of small children
• Free from vibration - relevant for glass containers

A closed desk drawer, a lockable wall cabinet or a safe deposit compartment meets all of these conditions.

Step 5 - Communication within the family

Keeping ashes touches several family members. Recommended steps:

1. Preliminary conversation with the closest family members: who would like which form of remembrance? Who takes overall organisational responsibility?
2. Clear allocation of quantities: which family members receive how much ash for which project?
3. Documentation: a written list of who received what - useful for later clarity and for the next generation.
4. Succession of custody: who takes over responsibility when today's primary custodian dies? (see Inheriting Jewellery - A Practical Guide)
5. Avoiding conflict: some family members reject the keeping of ashes for religious reasons or out of respect for the dead. Open communication reduces the potential for conflict.

Step 6 - Legal safeguards

In Germany, the private retention of ashes operates in a legal grey area (see Friedhofszwang - Mandatory Cemetery Burial (Germany)). Recommended safeguards:

• Written documentation with the funeral director covering the release of the partial quantity
• Confirmation that the main quantity was buried in the regular way (burial certificate, cemetery confirmation)
• Limiting the quantity: as long as the portion remains symbolically small (typically under 50 g), the practice is tolerated by most authorities
• When processing abroad: keep the confirmation from the Swiss or Dutch processing provider along with the shipping documentation

Step 7 - What to do with the remaining ash?

Once the memorial pieces are finished, a small residual quantity typically remains (losses during sieving, in the mortar, processing remnants). The options:

1. Keep it as a reserve for later projects
2. Return it to the funeral director for burial with the main quantity
3. A shared family scattering at an approved burial site (sea or woodland burial)
4. Another memorial piece - for example an additional pendant for a grandchild born later

Practical recommendation

For the majority of the bereaved: keeping a small, symbolic quantity of ash for one or more memorial pieces is a well-established practice and, in Germany, one that is tolerated in practice. What it requires is an open conversation with the funeral director and a suitably modest plan for the quantity involved.

For larger projects (a memorial diamond): processing abroad (Switzerland, USA) is the legally clearer route. Established providers such as Algordanza, LONITÉ or Saint Diamonds handle shipping and processing professionally.

For a complete scattering: in Germany this is permitted only at state-approved burial sites (sea, woodland and alpine meadow burials). Anyone wishing to scatter ashes at a private favourite place (a garden, a mountain top, a private lake) has to have the burial carried out in a neighbouring country (Switzerland, the Netherlands).

Keeping ashes is therefore neither a purely technical nor a purely legal question - it is primarily a task of communication and planning between the family, the funeral director and any jewellery or processing workshops involved. With a little preparation, a dignified, legally sound and personally fitting practice of ash remembrance can be realised in Germany too.